This time of year we are taught to spend time thinking of all the things we are grateful for, and I can’t think of anything I am more thankful for than you. It’s okay if you roll your eyes a little in my direction. I won’t take offence. I am sure this might be slightly embarrassing for you. But it is true. You, my son, are my greatest love, and always will be.
I remember the very second you were born. The first thing that came out of my mouth was ‘OH MY GOD HE LOOKS LIKE ME!!!’ to your Dad’s chagrin, I am sure. I wasn’t trying to exclude him. I didn’t mean to make that moment all about me. It was actually all about you! The very second I looked at you for the first time, it was the most profound experience of my life. It was the very first time I saw myself in the face of another. It was the first time I felt what it was like to be connected to someone by blood. You were mine.
As you grew, I looked at you in complete and utter awe. Your life was a mirror that I’ve never looked into before. I could see my nose in your nose, and my eyes in your eyes. You slept on your side with one arm stretched out as far as it could go, just like I did. And those miracles were never lost on me. Not even the smallest one. I saw myself in you, and it humbled me to my very core. The importance of that has never faded over time. We are connected in a way that I’ve never experienced. And I know I will never experience again, quite like this. You are my once in a lifetime.
It has always been really important to me to allow you the space and time to be your own person. And it hasn’t come without unwanted opinions from others. But I never really cared about that. I have always been steadfast in my beliefs as your Mom. I wanted you to figure out who you are. I wanted you to find what sets your heart on fire and makes you the best version of yourself. I wanted you to decide what type of man that you want to be in this world. And you have. And I am more proud of you than you will ever ever know.
You are my baby. My buddy. My light. You are everything good that I have ever done with my life. You are my friend. You are my son.
I have guided you the very best I know how. I have tried my hardest to light up your path and be your constant as you have navigated through the past 17 years of life. But with that said, you have been THE guiding light in MY life Aidan. You have taught ME.
And if you should ever forget, you now have it in writing. I am me because of you. And I love you more than you will ever comprehend. That is, until the day you hold your baby in your arms, and look into their eyes for the very first time.
And then you’ll know……
My son. My everything. I love you.